“Love will heal my wounds.”
It’s 3 months to the day since you were born quiet and still. What a cruel irony, that like so many other parents-to-be, your mother and I had resigned ourselves to never experience quiet stillness after you were to arrive. And yet, the morning prior to your birth, after arriving at the hospital and getting your mother hooked up to all manner of machines, we found that we had lost you. Continue reading “A Note from Dad”
It’s been 3 months since we learned your heart stopped beating. You should be 3 months old. You would be cooing and smiling and hopefully sleeping through the night. You might be grabbing at things close by, like my finger, or a handful of my hair.
Instead, your ashes are in a tiny box in the bedroom. Instead of growing into a chunky baby, you’ll forever occupy a gold box about 4 inches tall. Instead of cuddling you close to my chest, I sleep with a bear that weighs the same as you did. Continue reading “Anniversary dates begin”
Today is International Bereaved Father’s Day. I had no idea there was such a day. One doesn’t think about it until it applies to their own life. In a perfect and fair world, a day acknowledging childless fathers wouldn’t be necessary. In this world, it is. Continue reading “A Different Kind of Father’s Day”
It’s finally the weekend. I think I live for the weekend so I don’t really have to deal with other people. It’s a beautiful day. If you were here, we would spend the afternoon at the park or in the backyard. Or we would go to your grandparents’ farm. Continue reading “Lyra Bear”
I was thinking about your name last night. Lyra Harper. If you could only see the heated discussions your daddy and I had when we were trying to name you. You were almost Amelia, Scarlett, or Quinn. We had a terrible time agreeing on anything. We scoured websites and lists. I paid attention to movies, television, and books. I held on to naming you Arwen for a bit, while your daddy insisted on Amelia. “Arwen is too unusual,” he’d say. “Amelia is too common,” I’d say. Continue reading “What’s in a Name?”